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The Weekend Neos Kosmos : 1 October 2016
DIGITAL.NEOSKOSMOS.COM THE WEEKEND NEOS KOSMOS | SATURDAY 1 OCTOBER 2016 25 GREECE ‘There is a hell on earth and it is Mykonos airport’ Island’s airport ranked among 10 worst by pilots and crew of major international airlines Airports can be a living hell for travellers, especially if they are stuck in layover between connecting flights. But, as valid as a traveller's experience might be, there are some who can claim to be experts on the state of airports. Pilots, flight attendants, air traffic controllers, ground crew; those who use them for professional reasons have an informed opinion on which is best and which is worst. It is this category that found its way into the pages of The Independent newspaper in the UK, which printed the 10 worst airports in the world, in no particular order, according to professionals who shared their experience with travellers on the popular discussion website reddit. LaGuardia, US: "So bad that pilots don't want to return to it and prefer to land in the Hudson. Crossing runways (one to take-off, one to land), constant ground delays to take-off and to get to the gate. Cramped terminal and just looks outdated." Charles de Gaulle Airport, France: "The last time I was there, the only 'eatery' available was a Paul's and a juice stand; neither was open. The entire airport looked like a huge plain of nothing. It has to be the loudest airport in the universe, everything glass and concrete, packed at all times, guaranteed to give you a massive headache." Split Airport, Croatia: "I'm sure there are many examples but Split is just a small old airport that is 300 per cent over its max capacity due to recent tourist booms." Philadelphia Airport, US: "Philadelphia Airport is godawful. Whose f--king idea was it to put 40 gates in order in one f--king glorified hallway?" Cancún International Airport, Mexico: "Just an absolute s--t show in every way. The way they just herd three plane-loads of people through one security checkpoint is so disorganised." Mykonos Island National Airport, Greece: "Imagine a box. Now imagine a box that has been gutted with zero security and cats running in and out. This airport is literally a circus. I walked through the buzzers and beeped. The security guard just told me to hurry and didn't bother checking anything. Constant flight delays since it is between two mountains and something to do with the wind. There is a hell on earth and it is Mykonos airport." Leonardo da Vinci-Fiumicino Airport, Italy: "Absolute s--t hole of an airport. Full of people, air conditioning broken down and taxi rank is the loudest, most Italian thing you could imagine." Don Muang Airport, Bangkok: "One time late last year, it took me over three hours of standing in line just to check-in my baggage and the whole airport was jam packed with people when I got there at 4am." McCarran International Airport, US: “The airport in Las Vegas is a casino that happens to have planes. Considering how much they spend on the city, I totally don’t understand why it’s like that.” Belfast International Airport, Northern Ireland: "Security still believe it's the ‘70s and ‘80s in the north. Have to walk through rain, wind and snow to plane. Real embarrassing airport." Conversely, most reddit users cited Singapore's Changi Airport as the best, with free movie theatres, internet, foot massages and gardens. OPINION The filth and the fury: Greek TV in the summer Watching re-runs on a hot summer night almost makes you miss Reef Doctors. Kinda VANGELIS TSONOS Summer has come and summer has gone here in Greece. The idyllic islands, the long, sandy beaches, the beautiful sunsets, yeah, we know all that. But for some of us who should get a life, with time on our hands, summer is important for one other thing: reruns of comedy television series on Greek TV. In other countries cable and streaming networks thrive to produce mind-blowing series even during the summer heat. But not in Good Ol' Summer TV Wasteland Greece. I watched plenty of them. Here's what I learned. The Business Side Of Things: In almost every comedy series there is a large company that nobody can figure out exactly what they are selling. It is just 'a firm'. The CEO is a middle-aged hick straight out of a used car commercial who makes bad jokes with the young executives and hits on the younger ladies like a crocodile on an impala six months after his last meal. He never works. Ever. His secretary probably thinks that Adelaide is the Emir of Dubai, needs a seminar on how to put through 'line two', engages in cringing, beyond awkward dialogue (with her, you know, boss), but they all laugh along anyway. The Mother: The dominant force in the family. She has a deluxe pass at her daughter's property (the doors are always unlocked like in Friends), where she invades unannounced to play housewife, mar- riage counsellor, financial advisor and read excerpts from the book How To Destroy A Marriage In 10 Days. Her husband is usually a spineless pensioner with an unenviable ability to choke down insult after insult. He spends his time growing plants in the garden and is the kind of guy that you would meet at a Synaspismos rally (before they became SYRIZA and all that). The Couple: The man is usually a bona-fide douchebag, who studied IT at a university in the buckeyes of nowhere but is too lazy to get a real job. The daft fiancée supports him, always falls victim to kindergarten-like trickery in order to give him some pocket money to go and get wasted with his friends, but if he promises dinner and a movie her ovaries explode. When they do go out they only visit one lousy restaurant, where the lanky, nosey waiter inserts himself into the conversation about anything, from the colour of the bathroom curtain to tips on how to improve their sex life, if any. The Children: Think of those show-stealing , adorable, adoptionmaterial kids on Stranger Things. And then think again. The kids in Greek comedy series are obnoxious, loud, foul-mouthed and can't act to save their lives. They always go 'wise head on young shoulders'. You're a kid. Be sweet and innocent. You'll have plenty of time to be a prick to everybody when you grow up. The fact that their parents are usually portrayed as something that would make Forrest Gump look like a brain surgeon doesn't help either. The Neighbours: Forget Alexis vs Krystle in Dynasty or Frank Underwood vs Raymond Tusk in House of Cards. Your neighbour is your mortal enemy, one who must be obliterated at all costs. You play nice with them occasionally, but you wouldn't throw a rope if they were drowning, you'd probably go for a selfie to celebrate the occasion. And for no apparent reason. Just pure, unadulterated hatred, with cheap shots that never looked so cheap and revenge plots from a bad highschool play. Binge watching, you said? Binge, please.
24 September 2016
8 October 2016